You have always been there. I was just your baby sister, but I knew you cared, in your own way. Do you remember that day when you found me crying because of some boys who had played an evil prank on me? Even I cannot remember anymore what it was they had done, but I do remember their faces the next day, and how they avoided me after that. You never said a word, and neither did I, but I knew then that you loved me, even if you had never showed it before.
You were there, that day when they brought Fali home, and through all the hard times after that. You were a father for my sons, the father they had lost all too early.
You have always been there, brother of mine, and now, you are gone. And although I have lived all my life knowing you would likely leave me too soon, it still is almost impossible to bear. I hope you finally found the peace that was taken from you so long a time ago.
And you, my son, my firstborn, pride of my heart and soul, are you at peace despite having been granted but half a life? My golden one, I never told you how much it hurt me watching you grow up. You were so alike your father; you had his bearings, his hair, his eyes, even his voice. Looking at you sometimes felt like looking back in time, back when I first had laid my eyes on Fali, son of Felin, there in the lower galleries of Erebor. You were meant to rule these halls one day, my son, rule them in all their splendour and grandeur restored. You never wore your crown. These halls have become your tomb instead.
And you, my love, my youngest, my dearest. To know you was to know joy.
Once I had almost lost you, when I still carried you under my heart and the grief of having lost your father overwhelmed me; my body could not hold you anymore. Miraculously you survived, though weak at first. But there was your brother, always at your side, protecting you keeping you safe. I was so glad you were a boy, because a man needs a brother, and you and your brother were as close as I only could have hoped you would be. I hope he is still with you and that neither of you is alone.
I know it was not always easy for you, but I knew I would never have another child and it was so hard to let go. I was hoping that once you would have children of your own you would understand. But you will never have children. You never became a Prince of Erebor and showered me with riches as you so often would promise me.
If my tears were diamonds, I would have wealth beyond compare. And still I would give all and everything I have just to hear your voices again, my beloved ones. Just to hold you again, to at least say farewell. But you are long gone, your bodies cold and one with the stone and the earth. You, whom I brought to this world through tears and blood and pain, you who drew your very first breaths in my arms and your last ones so far away from me, my sons, my flesh and blood, my heart and soul, you are nothing but a memory now, carved into stone and resting forever beneath the roots of the mountain that claimed you.
A warrior’s daughter, a warrior’s wife, a mother of warriors, too, I have known all my life it might come to this. But not that I would lose you all at once.
Rest well, Thorin, brother of mine.
Sleep well, Fili, my heart. Sleep well, Kili, my love.
Be at peace, my beloved ones, for nothing can hurt you anymore. The pain is mine alone to bear.